Do you yell at your spouse or children? Think about it. You may not even realize that yelling is your modus operandi. If you are in the habit of yelling and don’t notice it, trust me, people around you do. Don’t worry, you can change! We all have blind-spots. Recently my wife told me that I licked my fingers while eating. Disgusting said I! I would never do such a thing, but I promised to pay better attention to see if she was right. Unfortunately for me, the next three times I ate, I licked a finger! I realized right then that the habit was real and I was blind to it. How could I be blinded to such a gross thing? BTW: I am happy to report that I have put together a string of successes in this regard lately. I am confident that If I can stop making everything “finger lickin good,” you can stop yelling at your family! Below are a few thoughts that might help you out.
YELLING IS WALKING IN THE FLESH NOT THE SPIRIT
I am not talking about yelling when your kid is across the other side of the baseball field or is about to run out in front of a car. Obviously, there is a time for yelling like the cases I just listed. However, if you are yelling out of anger, then it demonstrates a loss of self-control. The book of Galatians chapter 5:19 says that “the works of the flesh are obvious.” After this statement it gives a list of examples including “outbursts of anger.” “Outbursts of anger” is contrasted with the work of the Spirit in verse 22 that includes “self-control.” Don’t sugar coat your sin or try to justify it based upon the situation. If you want to stop yelling, then the first step is to own it and realize that there is a Spirit filled way to approach your family.
YELLING ENDEARS NO ONE
Think about it. Name a pleasant, endearing situation from your past when someone was yelling at you. Chances are the situation had the exact opposite effect upon you. We were made for relationship with one another. Especially in the family unit! A steady dose of angry outbursts at one another will lead to bitterness and resentment. When you or someone else in your family unit yells, there should be an expectation of yourself and others of quick confession and repentance. When you encounter a difficult situation, reason with the other person rather than yell. Be in control and endearing toward the other person even if they are not. Lead by example and don’t fall into the trap of yelling just because someone else may be raising their voice.
YELLING SHOWS WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON INSIDE
Shake a soda can for a minute or so and then open it up. We all know what would happen don’t we? The shaking from life situations creates a large amount of tension inside us and can lead to a personal “soda explosion” can’t it? To keep this from happening we must live in such a way that we reflect our belief that God is sovereign over every situation. This means that even when things are difficult, seem out of control or helpless, we have a firm belief that God has allowed us to be in that situation for our good. The scripture tells us in Acts 16 an interesting story about Paul and Silas. They were preaching in Philippi and while there, were severely beaten with rods and thrown in jail. Even though things seemed out of control scripture tells us, “about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.” Paul and Silas didn’t allow their difficult situation to cause them to explode in anger or question God. They were singing on the outside because peace was on the inside! Do you have peace on the inside?
“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32
All Scriptures taken from the NASB Bible